Complacency, Apathy: An Acceptable Way To Live?

I was driving through Austin in rush hour, listening to my satellite radio, when one of my favorite songs from the 1960s came on; I was a kid in the 1960s, so the '60s protest songs were part of my childhood.  I remember listening to my transistor radio at night, falling asleep to the music of Woodstock, feeling ill, even at 10 years old, as we watched the nightly news spell out the casualty reports.

Everything I knew as a child was colored by the Vietnam War, the deaths of President Kennedy, Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King.  My dad was in charge of desegregating the schools in Grand Rapids, Michigan, so I grew up watching my dad fight for the rights of all races to have quality education without restriction.  My parents were deeply political and nationalistic, supporters of the troops in Vietnam, so they were a bit concerned when their oldest child was singing war protest songs, but they let me make up my own mind.

In high school, the War was over and I went to college with soldiers recently returned from the fighting, some wounded physically, almost all wounded emotionally and mentally.  There were no parades or cheering crowds as they came off the planes bringing them home; instead, they were pelted with rotten tomatoes and eggs.  They had to hide their service, instead of wearing it proudly as they do today.  

I grew up during a time of protest and social consciousness - REAL social consciousness.  People were truly concerned about the way the environment was being impacted, so we went from throwing trash out the car windows to it becoming illegal.  Racial and gender equality, a truly needed change, was pushed through, to more or less success.  Gone were white-only bathrooms, drinking fountains and sitting at the back of the bus; whether or not the changes were enough are still being debated.  And a war was ended because enough people were brave enough to stand up and say, "No more."

From this, because of this and in spite of this, I became a strictly neutral person, not because I don't care but because I found my own solution and do my best to make sure others, on an individual basis, hear about it.  So this is definitely not about politics or political opinions on who is at fault or who has the right idea.

I was listening to this war protest song, wondering where all that has gone.  No one would ever bravely stand in front of a line of soldiers with a flower.  No one would stand in front of a tank, saying, "no more."  No one really cares any more.  I talk to people every day who say, "It doesn't impact my backyard, so I really don't care," or "I don't watch the news any more because it's too depressing."  They'd rather watch another hour of "reality" tv, watching trashy women making their lives even trashier and worshiping "celebrities" who are famous for no reason other than making train wrecks of their lives.

Has the world become more complacent or apathetic?  What's the difference?  Regardless of the definition, to me, complacency is looking at the world and accepting it as it is, not wishing to cause a fuss, just letting things go on because it doesn't impact you.  Apathy is looking at the world and saying, "I hate what's going on in the world but I can't do anything about it, so I'll go over here so I can't see it."  It's the difference between "What bombing" and "Oh, a bombing?  Really?  How sad?  When does Idol start?"

Even modern-day protests are wimpy.  Major US cities are allowing the KKK to march through the streets and maybe 10 people show up to protest.  "Christian" groups, supposedly "God-fearing" people who are driven by hate and not love, protest at the funerals of people killed by random acts of violence, saying it was the fault of the person killed and no one stops them.

The real issues are being ignored because it's too much fuss.  It's easier and better to watch a news story about the kid who won the local spelling bee than taking a hard look at what's going on in Africa.  Why?  Because "those" people don't look like us, don't live like us and are far away.  Over 49 million Americans are living in poverty and more than 47 million go to bed hungry, despite working 50+ hours a week at minimum-wage jobs.  Yet it’s almost impossible to get news coverage on those numbers because no one cares – “I have enough to eat and so does my family.  They’re obviously not working hard enough.”

Regardless of your political, religious, social or gender leaning, it’s time we all take a long hard look at ourselves and start standing for something.  As an individual, what do you care about, other than your immediate world?  As an individual, when was the last time you did something good for someone unrelated to you, who could do nothing for you (and I’m not talking about handing a dollar to the guy standing at the stop light with a sign, begging for money)?  As an individual, have you slid into complacency or apathy?

Come on.  It’s time.

For The Love And Hate Of Clients

My cry-baby face

Everyone who runs their own business - whether as a solo-preneur/freelancer or with a few employees - knows the mix of joy and pain when dealing with clients.  Clients are the life blood of any business.  They keep us up nights trying to figure out how best to serve their interests.  We skip meals and put our lives on hold when we have a client deadline.  We give our all for our clients.  So why do they drive us crazy?

Well, first of all, some customers ARE crazy.  Yes, most are lovely people you become friends with but come on - admit it.  It's the elephant in the room - some are just bug-nutty.  One of the biggest debates I had with the host of the radio show I produced was customer vs business owner.  The host's view was that the customer is always right and there are no exceptions; my view was sometimes customers are just plain crazy.

The problem is we depend on our customers, crazy or not, for our livelihoods.   And I've got a doozy I'm dealing with right now.  They're my biggest customer; ditching them isn't an option right now.  So I'm writing this to avoid saying something to them I will regret later.

The client in question started out as a wonderful client and continued that way for months and months.  Then, they got struck by lightening or stop taking their meds.  Deadlines started randomly changing, moving up ten days, then moving back 20.  I started staying up late to meet their shortened deadlines, working weekends and late into the night, and then would be told, "Oh, yeah, we moved that deadline back.  Ooops, sorry - we forgot to tell you."

Part of the issue when we get these nightmare clients is that we second-guess ourselves. Is it something we've done?  Are we misunderstanding?  It all comes down to communications and most clients, unfortunately, aren't good communicators.

As a writer, I'm in the same position as any other freelancer - everyone thinks they can do  what you do.  Of course, if they really could, they would be doing it themselves instead of hiring you.  I had a potential client last week tell me he could write his content, because he had been a content creator for a short time, but he just didn't have the time.  Unfortunately, he couldn't communicate to me exactly what he wanted, so I couldn't write what he wanted.  At the same time, by reading his emails and looking at his website, I could tell exactly why he was no longer a writer - the misspellings, incomplete sentences and horrible grammar were enough to make me weep.

I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone half the time.  I get emails from some customers saying, "We hate this article.  It's awful," but when I read their comments within the article, they only want two sentences reworked and then they love it.

I finally figured out how to deal with the ever-shifting world of nightmare customers - just give them what they want, when they ask for it, and then move on.  In the meantime, if you see me in the corner, drooling and babbling, just give me a hot cup of tea, a great book and a Snickers; I'll be ok in an hour.

Let's Begin Again

Welcome!  This blog is just me, espousing nonsense and my own ideas.  What follows is some background and ground rules.  If you're up for it, thanks for stopping by and by all means, read on.

What you'll find here:  First, a warning - this blog is going to be completely random.  There will be plenty of consumer advice, some about food, lots about Doctor Who and my cats, as well as non-descript stuff about being a grandma and a writer.

The opinions expressed here are mine alone.  They're not up for debate (so don't try to debate me).  They're not open for lengthy discussions (no, I'm not afraid of discussion, I mostly don't care).  If you're here to find something to be mad at me about - go away; there will be plenty of other opportunities elsewhere.  If you're here to read, read on.  If you're here to support or are looking for support - welcome.  If you're here for entertainment, I hope to supply that.  Otherwise, you're in the wrong place.

A little about me:  I've had several blogs around the Internets over the years - Lonely Gourmet, Lonestar Consumer, Biz Bootcamp.  I've worked on them diligently for a while and then, after a few months or a few years (depending on the subject), I've turned my back on them.  Why?  Because I got busy.

When I first started seriously blogging back in 2006, I was working for another company.  It was a rather soul-crushing experience, on call 24/7 managing 4000 medical transcriptionists all over the world.  I needed a creative outlet to really make a difference in someone's life and I think I did, first with consumer advice under Lonestar Consumer, and later with my food blog, Lonely Gourmet.  The result?  Five books published that ended up being very popular in Russia and Eastern Europe.

So I start again, under somewhat different circumstances.  I'm now a "real" writer.  After writing and publishing my books, I felt somewhat better about calling myself a writer but now, I'm actually, really, truly, a writer.  What am I writing?  Mostly articles for print magazines, blog posts for other people's blogs, ghostwriting books about internet programming, editing other people's books and having an absolute blast.

Because I've been writing so much for other people, I figured I didn't need that creative outlet any more, but I was wrong.

Lately, I've been participating in a writers' group and the experience has been really awesome.  I realized I still didn't have a place I could write about anything, without purpose.  The food blog had to be about food.  The consumer blog had to be about consumer advice.  Now, it's time to have a blog about nothing - a Jerry Seinfeld-type blog.

All that being said -- let's get started!